Status Updates that Didn't Make the Cut

Since starting Facebook last summer, I've gone from posting a status update once a day to maybe once a week because I'm pretty sure noone is really that interested. However, I do find myself thinking a lot about things I do, see, or hear and how it would read as a status posting. Here are a few that didn't make it to print:
-Why doesn't Target stock the regular Northern toilet paper anymore???
-Good news: Troy got a free hair cute! Bad news: It's because the stylist cut his ear.
-I've managed to train my body to need an earlier bedtime, so why can't I ever get up on time?
-Attempting to de-clutter the house--again!!
-Oprah is wearing my mittens. (The ones from the Olympics, that I did post about.)
-I'm really, really tired of winter.
-All of those vegetables I ate a few hours ago aren't doing me any favors now.
-Troy and I both bought each other Valentine gifts online this year and both of us returned them. Note to self: save the shipping next year and just go out to eat.
-I'm sitting at the West Acres food court and there is a man here with two kids who is cross-stitching. True story.
-Eating leftovers for the fourth day in a row. Sometimes I am just really lazy.
-Me before bedtime: Mateo, is your Pull-up going to be dry in the morning? Mateo: We'll have to wait and see.
-I love my new Keurig coffee maker that I got for my birthday! (got a whale of a deal too)
-Not the best day, I cried in front of my students.
-Who knew new tires had so much tread?
-Real Housewives of New York is starting in two weeks!
-I wonder how much deer poop will be in the backyard when the snow melts?
-Read a really good book this weekend called Trouble.
-Does anyone else like ordering off the dollar menus at Burger King and McDonalds? I recommend the BK spicy chicken.
-Help! My skin is so flaky. Make it stop!
-Mateo: Mom, how can asparagus make your pee smell funny?

So there you have it. The good, the bad, and the ugly. As a favor to my friends (and other FB acquaintances I have known or met at one point in my life), I will continue my attempt to filter my FB posts because honestly, did you really want to know all of that?